No matter how hard you try, there would always be at point in time that a conflict arises in marriage. This is not unusual to happen since two individuals with unique characteristics, values and upbringing live together. From one moment you’re very sweet to your spouse. On another minute, you start arguing. Then, you’ll kiss and make up.
There are no definite techniques in maintaining a good and harmonious environment in marriage. These tips might help.
1. Be the better person.
2. Two individuals, brought together by marriage, are made to complement each other.
3. Learn to accept the individuality of your spouse.
4. Never argue when both parties are very emotional. Nothing gets resolved, and might just worsen the situation. Instead, give time to vent down, and then talk.
5. Having an open communication helps avoid having any doubts to your spouse.
6. Patience is indeed a virtue.
7. Never get tired to listen and understand your spouse.
8. Outweigh negative thoughts by having more positive thoughts.
9. Remember that your love is greater than any challenges.
10. Pray together.
by Khalil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said, “And what of Marriage, master?”
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.
I just want to share my favorite section in Khalil Gibran’s The Prophet.
I got the chance to read this book back in 2003 during my Senior Year in highschool. During that time, I had a vague definition of what marriage is. My teacher did a great job in trying to explain this section of the book. However, it is hard to understand marriage on a point of view of a teenager.
Now that I am married, I read through this section again. I can say that I have a better understanding of what it feels to be married.
There are certain things that should be remembered and be kept reminded from the past, and use it as a key to the future.
I’d rather win the relationship, than win the battle because I value my relationship more.