Comfort or Love

I was asked last night, what would I choose-comfort or love?

Of course, I answered love. Why? I said that there is no perfect relationship. There will be ups or downs. Whatever happens, love will remain.

After a few minutes, I had thought deeper about that question. I found myself teary eyed. I have this idea that my relationship has finished its revolution from love. And I think it is now moving towards comfort. My partner’s goal is not aligned anymore towards my idea of love. He is now thinking of acquiring things that can be bought by money. He is always working, thinking that he will earn more to satisfy those wants. Aside from the regular job, he is very much willing to add another workload to earn more. This additional workload consumes much of his time.

On an economic perspective, this will increase the total earnings of the family. Thus, having a comfortable life. There is nothing wrong with earning extra money. There is nothing wrong with working. Yes. We are not rich, but have a little more than the usual to rent a big apartment and afford a car loan. Right now I feel that I am living in a house empty with love. My kids are here, I love them so dearly. However, they are growing that daddy is always out. They love their dad so much. They always ask for him. I am not happy to see them asking, and find no other answer other than daddy is somewhere.

I seem to sound so selfish. Yes, I maybe. I am just praying that he’ll make time for that that love for us to spark once more.

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From the Bottom of my Hypothalamus (Lost)

I am lost

Lost inside my own self

I couldn’t remember where I left

I couldn’t see what lies ahead

 

Trying to pick up every piece of me

But where will I go?

I have been too comfortable with the world I created

Is it still possible to leave?

 

Uncertainty is crying in my head

Doubts are circling the edges of my brain

Should I still continue to hope?

Must I still believe in me?

 

I want to come back home…….